The first year of college is undoubtedly difficult. Moving over 2,000 miles from home myself, it took a very long time to adjust. Often, I found myself wishing someone could answer my biggest questions and ease my deepest fears. As a newly minted sophomore, I now feel able to address some of these concerns for you, dear class of 2028.
What if I hate my roommate?
I’ve never had a roommate. But while I can’t answer this question from personal experience, I’ve heard plenty from all my friends who do have roommates. It’s daunting to share a space with a stranger for the first time, but not impossible. Your best friend might not be your roommate, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. They still can be great company for the first few weeks especially, and whenever college gets lonely – you aren’t isolated when you go to your room at night, and you have someone to eat with. Still, college is about branching out – you’re trying to meet other people and try new things, and not all of that has to happen where you sleep.
Of my closest friends, all of whom lived with one or two roommates as freshmen, only one is living with theirs again. A couple of my other friends also had roommates who they were friends with. A couple others had less positive experiences. But still, only one friend had an experience so bad that they requested a roommate change.
So, long story short, from my point of view, it’s about as common to be absolute best friends with your roommate as it is to completely loathe them. Most people are somewhere in the middle. No matter what, your room and your roommate aren’t your entire college life and you’ll be okay.
What if I fail my classes?
Always remember that you got into Bates for a reason. It can be intimidating to hear about your friends’ impressive resumes and superior test scores, but I promise you – you deserve to be here, and that means you’re qualified to take classes at a Bates level, even if you struggle.
That being said, college is hard, but Bates makes a big effort to ease students into it. Freshman year, with your First Year Seminar and other support systems, is meant to get you used to college.
There are also many resources at hand. You will always have a faculty advisor, as well as a Student Support Advisor who can communicate with your professors and help you when things go a little off the rails, as well as Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) and Health Services. There are also student advisors and tutors in the library, office hours with your professors, and teacher assistants you can meet with to stay on track academically.
Is it true that first-year friendships are destined to fail? Will I even make any friends in the first place?
I don’t believe at all that freshman year friend groups are meant to fall apart. You’ll meet a lot of people in the opening weeks of your first semester, and not all of them will be your friends forever. That was certainly true for me. But I also met lifelong friends in my first weeks of college, including my best friend on my AESOP trip. Over the first few weeks especially, finding clubs, student identity groups, and your place on your sports team will help you meet tons of new people, as well as attending plenty of orientation and school events.
Just do your best to find people who make you happy. Those who are meant to stick, will stick.
Will I break up with my long-distance high school partner?
The only people who could possibly know that are the two of you. Long distance is hard, especially when you’re so used to living close and going to school together. But it’s not impossible.
I entered college with the partner I am still with a whole year later – still long distance. We talk every day when we’re apart, and we cherish the time we are in person together, and it works quite well.
Remember that long distance is giving you an opportunity – to grow as people while still loving each other. Don’t let your long distance partner be the reason you don’t make friends or have a life at Bates, and don’t let your new life here at Bates mean you no longer talk to your partner, and your relationship will be just fine.
Did I overpack? Did I underpack?
If you’re like me, you’ll overpack. Without realizing it, I ended up with a closet chock full of T-shirts and a weird surplus of lined paper.
There are a couple key things to remember while packing. First of all, especially when it comes to most stuff, it’s not like you won’t be able to buy something else after arriving. Target is just a couple miles away, and not only can you get a friend to drive you there, you can do delivery (or even take the bus)! Family members can also ship you any essentials you realize you need after leaving home.
Also, depending on how often you plan on going home, you probably don’t want to have to bring everything with you back and forth every time. Jackets and school supplies, sure. But shirts and underwear and toiletries? It’s probably best to keep some at home. I didn’t do this, and it looked like I was going home for a month every time I left school for a week-long break.
If you need something, you can find it. If you don’t, you can bring it home next time you go. No problem.
What if I need to transfer?
No school is for everyone. Too big, too small, too academically competitive, too many parties – they can all be issues depending on what you want. Unfortunately, it’s sometimes hard to learn these things about yourself until you go off to school for real.
When I started at Bates, my parents gave me one piece of advice about transferring: lots of people wonder if they want to leave at some point, and if that’s you, then at least give it a full year – try to stick it out past that tough first semester. Lots can change after the first semester: friendships solidify, classes become more interesting, and at Bates, traditions make it more fun in the spring. So if you can, try to stick it out.
If transferring seems more and more likely for you, make sure you keep your family at home updated and your friends at school too – it’s a lot easier to make choices like this when you have people supporting you.
