The Voice of Bates College Since 1873

The Bates Student

The Voice of Bates College Since 1873

The Bates Student

The Voice of Bates College Since 1873

The Bates Student

A (Not So) Definitive Ranking of Commons Chicken

Leah Belber
One of my finest chicken patty satty sandwiches!

Chicken is the most consumed food in Commons, and therefore, it makes sense that I have tallied at least 22 versions over my many months at this institution. I am very biased and picky with my chicken preferences. I have only included some of the many versions of chicken because I am just a girl, and there are way too many options to try. My ranking may not echo the general public’s opinions, but they are mine, and I firmly stand by them. 

My top category is any moist and fairly flavorful braised chicken thigh. These top-tier options include the Italian Herbed Chicken, the Mediterranean Chicken Thighs, and the Jerk Chicken. These slightly vary, but they are most frequently found at lunch, accompanied with mashed potatoes or brown rice at the Bobcat bar. I find them the most reliably juicy with an enjoyable dose of seasoning (although I am partial to adding at least some S&P).

My second choice is the Baked Fried Chicken. It comes off a bone, so you know the meat is real. It is easily dressed with seasoning, making a welcome addition to other parts of the meal. Plus, it often comes with not soggy broccoli! This chicken is also usually a lunch offering.

My next category of third-choice chickens is the popular fan favorites, which I will rank since they span a range of chicken quality. Don’t hate me. They just taste less like legitimate chicken products.

  1. Chicken Fritters – it sometimes has an adequate chicken-to-breading ratio
  2. General Tso’s Chicken – it has broccoli!
  3. Lemon Chicken – a little too sour
  4. Chicken Nuggets – because they are served with the good fries: the McDonalds-esque shoestring fries
  5. Chicken Wings – they are real chicken, but if you think too hard the smell is distressing
  6. Hot and Spicy Chicken – overhyped but the spice nicely masks suspicious chicken interior
  7. Chicken Parmesan – blended up interior but at least there is sauce and cheese
  8. Chicken Patty (Satty) – fun to make into a good sandwich but overhyped

Next comes a chicken I do not like to reach for but may on occasion depending on my desperation. I like that it has some char and the salsa on top.

  1. Southwest Chicken 

Lastly is a large category of chicken that I do not eat. (Warning: for no particular reason, I feel suspicious and/or like this type of chicken is not worth it.) In no special order, here goes:

  1. Caramelized Onion Chicken Breast
  2. Apricot Glazed Chicken 
  3. Fire Roasted Blackberry Chicken 
  4. Dijon Chicken 
  5. Chicken Hamsters aka the Breaded Chicken and Broccoli Rollup

Please note I did not include the ginger chicken lo mein, the chicken scallion saute, or the Caesar or wrap bars. I’m not sure why; they felt like a different category. Ask me, and I will tell you my further opinions in person. Thank you for reading.

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About the Contributor
Leah Belber, Assistant Arts & Leisure Editor

Leah is a sophomore from Washington, D.C. who will likely major in English with a minor in French. Deeply opinionated about food, she enjoys trying new restaurants and baking elaborate birthday cakes. You can find her filming TikToks for Bates on the quad or attending PAUSE on Wednesday nights!

In her first year, Leah was a staff writer writing primarily for Arts & Leisure, continuing her work from high school at The Augur Bit.

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