The minute I entered the room—my heart dropped. I quickly scanned the class and saw another girl. I beelined towards her and sat down in the seat right next to her. As it turned out, we were the only two girls in the class.
This was my first day at Bates. My professor walked us through the logistics of the course and general tips about how to succeed as a student in postsecondary education. Pretty much, what you’d expect from your first day of college.
Walking into that room and seeing a sea of teenage boys was a bit of a surprise because in high school, I was constantly surrounded by a relatively equal combination of girls and boys. As an only child, I did not grow up with brothers, nor did I have many guy friends in high school, so my first day jitters, which were already through the roof before entering the classroom, skyrocketed. Although I had heard the stereotypes about economic-based courses being dominated by “finance bros,” I was not expecting to see that stereotype at a college like Bates, but I guess that was a bit naive of me.
Within a few classes however, I discovered that I may have been quick to make assumptions and that my peers were actually not as scary as my mind had led me to believe they would be. While it has only been a month since classes started, I already feel so much more comfortable in that class than I did that very first day.
Coming to Bates, I had many ideas about what I thought college classes would be like. I imagined small class sizes, with the seats arranged in a compact circle. I saw myself constantly speaking up in class. For context, I rarely raised my hand in high school, not because I never had the answers, but because I never felt truly confident with my responses.
For some reason, in all these scenarios I had created in my mind, I was somehow a better, more extraverted and confident version of myself, almost as if moving across the country and essentially starting from scratch would magically shape me into the fearless student I always wanted to be. While I wish these idealistic scenarios had turned into reality, they unfortunately did not. The class sizes varied, my First Year Seminar being the only class that resembled my ideas regarding the layout of the classroom.
As for me as a student, I was no different than I had been in high school. Unfortunately, I was still the shy, reserved student that preferred to keep to herself, which I am learning will not get me very far here.
Going from class to class that first week, I found that each one contained certain elements I associated with college. I had seen TikToks of students from various colleges and universities capturing their down-to-earth professors, which is something I’ve noticed here. My professors also write on chalkboards, which feels very collegiate.
Entering each class for the first time was beyond scary. Of course, every year I have experienced new teachers, new classes, new environments, but this was different. Everything felt like uncharted territory, which is something I really have not really experienced since the first day of kindergarten.
While this first month has by no means been a walk in the park, I am enjoying all of these new experiences, and hope that here, I will be able to become the student I’ve always wanted to become.
