For many of us, mealtime is a time we schedule not just to eat, but to socialize. Asking how each other’s days are, what we did and what the plans are for a Friday night after exams are all hallmarks of these moments together. Surrounded by bubbles of laughter, plates clanging and footsteps, the table acts as a barrier against the noise when you’re together with people you trust. For many of the athletes on campus, these people consist of their team.
As a first year, one of the most daunting parts of starting college is puzzling over the awkward social settings you are thrown into, wondering how exactly you are expected to make a fresh set of friends while also managing everything else college has to offer. Most student-athletes, however, have had the opportunity to get to know our fellow teammates before arriving on campus. It’s nice to, as some say, come in with a “pre-friend group.” When your first year begins, and you’re terrified to ask people who you’ve met for a couple of minutes to go and eat, it disincentivizes us from branching out—so we go to do what we need to do, eat, with those we know the best: our team.
For me, it is a great accomplishment to be on a college sports team, not only because I have made it this far, but because I enjoy my discipline. However, I was afraid that my college life would only be limited to that sport. As someone who likes balance between other extracurriculars and groups, and had those balances in high school, I was worried that I would not find that within the college sports commitment, both physically and socially.
At my high school it was normal for my team to have mandatory team meals, but I never felt like I was separated from other groups on campus. I will say there are certain sports teams and individuals who always split themselves from other groups dramatically, and many times that dynamic continues from high school to college.
When I first toured Bates and had the opportunity to talk with current students, one of my questions revolved around the culture between athletes and non-athletes. I remembered getting a mix of responses: some students telling me there was a clear divide and others telling me that there wasn’t. During my first weeks on campus however, I continuously overheard petulant comments about student athletes and their tendency to purposefully split themselves and hold their chin up too high, especially in a building where everyone goes every day: Commons.
From a daily Common’s perspective, it may seem like each student athlete has formed their own exclusionary clique within the myriad of sports teams, especially when you see a big group of kids sticking two tables together, wearing the same practice tees and bags and hollering out and about about Fridays’ lift, or next Saturday’s game. It’s easy to make assumptions about these groups in Commons, which prevents others from even thinking about asking to sit with them, let alone go near them, their uniforms signifying a split between athlete and non-athlete. It is understandable as to why many speculate that team meals are exclusionary; We have our own little faction of a shared discipline, populating a certain unlabeled, yet well colonized table, in the same area, every day.
But does that mean it’s exclusionary? Teams spend hours together training, conditioning bodies to maintain peak condition for their discipline. We go to the field or the weight room together. After, we walk into Commons to get dinner. Mealtimes sometimes extend to later or earlier hours than a conventional time when students would rather go. We also want to effectively bond with each other so that we not only get to know each other better, but so we can form a good team dynamic during the season in order to be competitive. And in order to foster that dynamic, we eat together. It is also really difficult to manage other groups and friends when a sport takes up much of your free time and availability to eat. Plus, team meals are always fun. Ultimately we all choose to continue a sport, and many times, it’s for the team environment.
If we say team meals are exclusionary, then what do we make of other societies and clubs to say they are not exclusionary as well? It is easy for all of us, especially at a small school, to be cliquish, and that’s not limited to just athletes. We all want to pretend we live in an idyllic world where cliques do not exist, which is much closer to fiction than fact while attending a school with fewer than 2,000 students, and while eating at the same dining hall every day. If we are to speculate about teams during meal time, we can easily do that for other tables at Commons.
At first, many other first-year student athletes whom I have spoken to say it is hard to branch out to other groups. Hence, they stick to what they know, which can lead them to stay in “cliquish” behavior and continue the cycle for incoming team members. But this changes as the year goes on.
In many schools, there always seems to be conversation about the separation of “NARPS”( Non Athlete Regular Person), vs student athletes; never-ending critiques of one another seem to, on both parts, create a visible divide and garrulous conversation. Bates is a Division III school, (and though very competitive), it is clear athletics are not the top priority numerator for all lives here, despite having 40% of the student body participating in a varsity sport. Athletes share facilities with other students unlike most schools who have private athlete-only gyms. And, many varsity athletes are also part of intramural sports teams out of season. So there is already a well-approached Bates culture that strays away from the typical student- athlete and “NARP” stereotype that can be extreme at other colleges. Along with this, at a small school like Bates, you actually do see familiar faces every day, and many student-athletes are a part of other societies and organizations where new friends are formed every day, and even in the same gym.
It is good to have a balance between eating with your team, but also finding the time to eat with other friends who aren’t athletes. I can’t speak for every team, but from my experiences so far, the meals I have with my team are inclusive to others. Many times, friends of one another come and eat with all of us and I meet people who aren’t student athletes. I find myself eating with my team some times of the week, but I also find time to eat with my other friends. And, I am not the only one.
It should not be frowned upon when teams often eat together because that’s part of a healthy team culture that we want to stay proud of. If teams never ate together, what would we say about the team culture then? That they are “too separated”?
