The hours I spent as a teeanger (so, up until last year) indulging myself in the world of YouTube “beauty gurus” is what inspired my love and, I’ll admit, small obsession for skincare. All those years ago, I would say my routine out loud as I put each product on my face before bed each night to pay homage to my YouTube beauty idols. I thought Zoella would be proud.

Although my love for watching videos like, “What I got for Christmas 2010- LOTS OF BATH AND BODY WORKS!!” and “Everyday Natural Makeup Look for Eighth Grade: Show Your Crush What They are Missing” has dwindled ever so slightly, these videos fostered my obsession with skincare products.

Skincare, dare I say it, is my vice. I believe my obsession will ultimately cause me to declare bankruptcy or my future partner to inevitably leave me. However, my affinity does signify that I am fully qualified to give skincare advice and let you know what I am loving at the moment. My fourteen year old self would be so proud. Mama, I’ve made it!

The way I prepare for my skincare routine is the way most people would prepare for coitus. First, I light my Walmart candle, in the scent Fresh Balsam. I then dim the lights After my room feels cozy and slightly risque, I may begin.

The first product I use is Neutrogena Oil-Free Daily Moisturizer (with SPF 15) from Target all over my face. I especially focus on my neck because, according to our lord, Zoella, it is important to always moisturize your neck to avoid premature aging. This moisturizer is my go-to because, as someone who has combination skin, the thin formula moisturizes without leaving my skin feeling greasy.

Next, I use my Garnier SkinActive Soothing Facial Mist with Rose Water. Say that in a French accent to make it sound bougier than it actually is, because it’s from Target. I hold the mist about 5 inches away from my face and douse myself with 3 or 4 hearty sprays. Full disclosure, I am not sure how beneficial this product really is. But, it smells really good and the act of spraying rose water all over my face makes me feel more important than I really am. I would imagine this product is how Beyonce got her good looks and talent.

After the unnecessarily bougie face mist, I bust out the Yes to Cucumbers Soothing Eye Gel. I like this product because it is cooling to bring down the puffiness under my eyes and wake me up in the morning. I have had the same bottle of the gel for about a year and a half and I still have a lot left, so it is definitely worth the $13.29 I paid at Target. Although, I could very well be rubbing expired gel all over my eyes… that explains the pink eye!

Finally, because my lips tend to get fairly dry, I end the routine with the bougiest installment yet: the Agave Lip Mask in Clear from Bite Beauty. I love this stuff because it is incredibly moisturizing but does not leave your lips feeling sticky. Bite Beauty is the store in which you can create your own custom lipsticks. Fun fact: I bought the lip mask on a visit to Bite, which was my birthday present when I was a senior in high school. The same bottle has lasted me up until now, so I would say it is worth the pricey $26 it retails for. That being said, I am not one to endorse expensive makeup or skincare products because I truly believe that you can find products that work just as well at any drugstore. So, I am trying to find a cheaper dupe for this lip product to endorse. I’ll report back, dear reader.

Voila! Thus concludes my completed skincare routine. I will be the first to admit that I value my routine more than I should, but having a consistent, daily routine that I actually enjoy doing and makes me feel put together. It’s almost therapeutic for me.

I’ll leave you with this: never stop (lip)masking your problems with skincare!